DIARY

DIARY

The Veg-Garden, more flowers & colour than veg.

So…the Grey Fantails are training their youngest to swim…the Berberis is alive with Silver-Eyes…Scrub Wrens have chosen a Bromeliad that’s for sale for their new nest…the young ones are doing well…a bit noisy really! The Eastern Spinebills are already showing the first of this season’s offspring the door, (in no uncertain terms), while madly collecting blowflies for the next lot. Every twiggy bush has a coconut sized bundle of weed in the middle of it arumble with loudly vocalising finch babies…..every flower is fizzy with bees.
Two species of Whistler & the Tree Creeper are competing for the highest trill! On today’s list of chores is using the Leaf-Blower to blow the Wallaby poos off the paths…& the Superb (doesn’t he know it!) Blue Wren has found his way into the Visitors Toilet again &, so delighted with himself in all the mirrors, has danced on the toilet roll causing it to unfurl into a grotty pile of folds on the floor. He, or is it they, have merrily poo-ed (or “whoopsied” as an old friend used to say) on the cistern, on the seat, on the door handle, on the wall, on the mirrors, on the stained glass & of course the floor. So there is that to sort out.
But apart from that everything is peaceful.

Golden Abelia & Ceanothus thyrsiflorus (left). Moraea bellendenii. (top right)..unusual member of this nice family of bulbs etc...nothing foliage but lovely flowers.   "Scented Mountan" (bottom right)  ...Jasmine & Banksia Rose...Why did we do it!? ..too young to know better.

Kniphofia (left)...one of the myriad of these generous Sth African plants in our garden. We have many varieties, species & hybrids, dwarf & enormous in ivory, yellow, red etc. We have them flowering from October to August, delighting the honeyeating birds. The bigger birds tackle them to the ground in order to have their evil ways with them. We are constantly pulling out seedlings which come up in the wrong place or are the wrong colour for the scheme. This particular one will not last past this year's flowering...not yellow enough.  Alyogyne (right). The Native Hibiscus...this is the pink form. We also have them in white and a apricot. and purple.  Don't like severe frost.

Eupatorium megalophyllum(left) or blue Mist Flower...(now apparently Bartlettina sordida if you're a smartypants)... a big sub tropical beauty which needs a bit of shelter but pays off in Sprinter (Spring)...Being a denizen of the Mist Forests of Mexico it does not delight in our climate...but it only looks crap in Summer & Winter... nice leaves.  The first of the Clematis (Right)...many more to follow. Despite their reputation for being tender and snail-prone we find them  easy when snuck in between & scrambing up other plants. We tend to like the simple flowered ones in Lilac & Purple but there are plenty that are white, vomitous pink and ridiculously double.  Pholomis italica (bottom right)...loves the sun & a gravel mulch - Balearic Islands, Mediterranean.

Spiloxene (left)...an exquisite little bulb for the rockery, although it tends to get a bit lost in our gigaronomous rompant garden. Much better for us is this Asphodel (right) - Asphodelus species ...hailing from the Mediterranean, Africa and the Middle East, it is steeped in mythology. In ancient times it was planted on graves...the fleshy roots being thought to be the food of the dead..they were also eaten by hungry Greeks in times of extremes. It dies down in the Summer & can't be killed except in really boggy conditions. Nectar plant.

Aesculus carnea Briotti in the Red Bed.

DIARY 

This week...

Waterfront Grebe bedroom. 360 degree view. Grebe babies have to be the cutest things ever. About the size of a large walnut. Three hatched this week.

Australasian Grebe Nest

It's Echium-time. This be Echium simplex on the left. You should see the bees go. Towers of white jewels 6ft tall. And the purple/blue spires of Echium fastuosum. Delicious.

 

One of the few roses the wallabies have left us...Golden Wings...(or is it Winds) anyway it smells like bread. Delirious.

 

Cistus Brilliancy (top left)  and Halimium ocymoides (bottom left), together with Cistus Bennet's White. The light & colour & scent of the Mediterranean.



Grey Cheeks (left), a regular morning visitor, not looking very pleased. Melianthus major, Berberis x juliane Spring Glory (top right) and Berberis thunbergii atropurpurea superba, a magnet for Silver Eyes.




Umbellifers that send the bees demented - Ferula communis (Giant Fennel) A Mediterranean plant with ferny foliage and umbels the size of bread and butter plates. Can reach 3-4m tall.

A close-up of Heracleum ... another giant Mediterranean umbellifer for keeping the bees and other pollen-feeders amused.

Arum dioscorides (left). What is it about Aroids?  Ugly & smelly & irresistible to me & blowflies...it must be genetic!  Flower bud Amorphophalus Konjac (right) - another metre to go!
 

Osteospermum (Dimorphotheca) a long flowering Sth African daisy that provides plenty of entertainment for insects. The combination of the rich red flowers & the burnt stumps also delights me.

                                                                                        

USEFUL SAYINGS.

Every day is a gift…That’s why it’s called “the present”.


The best place to seek God is in a garden. You can dig for him there. ~George Bernard Shaw,  1932

When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant. ~Author Unknown


Gardening is cheaper than therapy and you get tomatoes. ~Author Unknown


What a man needs in gardening is a cast-iron back, with a hinge in it. ~Charles Dudley Warner, My Summer in a Garden, 1871


There can be no other occupation like gardening in which, if you were to creep up behind someone at their work, you would find them smiling. ~Mirabel Osler


In my garden there is a large place for sentiment. My garden of flowers is also my garden of thoughts and dreams. The thoughts grow as freely as the flowers, and the dreams are as beautiful. ~Abram L. Urban


God made rainy days so gardeners could get the housework done. ~Author Unknown

EXCLUSIVE!
THE DARK UNDERBELLY IN THE CONNECTION BETWEEN GARDENING & MENTAL HEALTH!
THE DIFFICULT TRUTH NO-ONE WILL  ACKNOWLEDGE!

Yes…It is Mental Health Week & you are bound to hear a lot of soft talk about the mental health benefits of gardening…which is without doubt “True” of course…but like most axiomatic “Truths”…the “Real Truth” is much more nuanced.

Of course, there being “nothing new under the sun”…there is nothing new about saying that there is a benefit to Mental Health to be gained from “Beauty”, “The Great Out-Doors” & “Gardening”. This is why all the “Mental Asylums” of the 19th Century were surrounded by beautiful, extensive & expensive gardens designed by the  best Landscape Designers of their time…(whilst the most needy of the “inmates” were dressed in rags and chained to the wall).

So the knowledge that gardening has a benefit for Mental Health goes back a long way….but this week you will hear it spoken of as if it is the result of “cutting edge” research!  What you will not hear spoken about anywhere, this week, or at any other time…is the other side of the coin when it comes to the connection between Mental Health & Gardening…& that is O.C.G.D….Or Obsessive Compulsive Gardening Disorder!

It can strike any keen gardener at any time & worst of all there seems no documented cure!

I’ve seen it destroy friendships, marriages, families & deeply divide communities. I’ve seen otherwise rational people turn over their whole “yard”…you couldn’t possibly call it a garden…to a veritable sea of polystyrene boxes filled  with a collection of plants with impossible to pronounce Latin names & often requiring a magnifying glass to differentiate one from the other…In the case of cacti, succulents & carnivorous plant aesthetics is not even a factor….In fact the uglier the better!

As a nurseryman I’ve sold plants to women who must take their purchases out of their pots before taking them home so that their husband/spouses do not find plant-pots in the wheelie-bin & therefore catch them out. Like any addiction or gambling it leads to secretiveness & deceit.

I have known perfectly happy well-adjusted gardeners who take off on their big overseas adventure only to return poor haunted creatures unable to appreciate their lovely gardens any more… & determined to tear it all out & replace it all with a detailed facsimile of something they have seen whilst away…often spending more on the garden make-over than their once in a lifetime overseas trip.

Needless to say a few years down the line these poor sufferers are completely disillusioned. Despite superhuman efforts & destroying their previously superb garden; their 17th Century French Rose Garden does not actually surround a lovely stone Villa…nor is it protected from the elements by a high stone wall…nor does it look out on a Medieval Provencal town…or a walled Convent! The savannah is not roamed by lion & gazelle. There is no view of a snow-covered Mt Fuji in the background & the cherry blossom only last a couple of days because of the hot winds in October.The dry Spanish hills have no Crusader Castle on the crag….& the verdant Balinese jungle idyll looks like it has been subject to Napalm attack twice a year…in the winter because of the frost & in the summer because of the north wind.

But worst of all for the O.C.G.D. sufferer is the “Event”…The Garden Opening or, worse still, the Garden Wedding are the most likely triggers for a “Melt Down” or even, in extreme cases, suicide.
Just imagine the extent of the crisis for a severe O.C.G.D. sufferer who has thought of nothing for months but a proposed Garden Wedding…carefully timed to coincide with the flowering of the Wedding Day Roses & white Clematis.When, as can happen, there is a Tornado followed by torrential rain on the morning of the event. Imagine the despair. Unthinkable.

But you will hear nothing about this “Reality” during this Mental Health Week…Instead the media, with its usual demand for simplistic answers, will be promoting the idea that if you have a trowel in your hand & some carrot seeds in your pocket then all your problems are solved!

On a related but lighter note….I have a Bi-Polar mental illness & the garden is my life-boat…Tina handles the tiller…& the birds are my mentors.

BIRDS identified at Out of Town Nursery and Humming Garden
* Regular visitors

WATER
Little Black Cormorant*       
Little Pied Cormorant*
White Egret
White Faced Heron*
White Ibis*
Spoonbill
Straw Necked Ibis
Black Duck*
Wood Duck*
Royal Spoonbill

RAPTORS
Little Eagle*
Wedge Tailed Eagle*
Goshawk*
Brown Falcon*

GARDEN
Sulphur Crested Cockatoo
Dollarbird
King Parrot*
Quail
Spurwing Plover*
Crested Pigeon*
Peaceful Dove*
Bronzewing*
Gang Gang Cockatoo
Galah*
Red Rumped Parrot
Turquoise Parrot
Crimson Rosella*
Eastern Rosella*
Pallid Cuckoo
Fantailed Cuckoo
Tawny Frogmouth*
Kookaburra*
Rainbow Bird
Kingfisher
Welcome Swallow*
Blackbird*
Satin Bowerbird*
Brush Wattlebird
Red Wattlebird*
Ground Thrush
Grey Thrush*
Superb Blue Wren*
White Throated Warbler
White Browed Scrub Wren*
Flame Robin*
Scarlet Robin*
Southern Scrub Robin
Pink/Rose Robin
Southern Yellow Robin*
Willie Wagtail*
Restless Flycatcher
Rufous Whistler
Eastern Shriketit*
Brown Treecreeper*
White Faced Treecreeper*
Mistletoe Bird*
Spotted Pardalote
Silvereye*
Fuscous Honeyeater
Noisy Friarbird*
Little Friarbird
Eastern Spinebill*
Red Browed Finch*
Golden Finch
Olive Backed Oriole
Mudlark
Masked Woodswallow
Magpie*
Pied Currawong*
Raven*
Barn Owl
Southern Boobook
Little Grebe
Australasian Grebe
Satin Flycatcher (female)
Horsefield Cuckoo
White Browed Babbler 
White Eared Honeyeater*
Black Fronted Dotterel
Yellow Tufted Honeyeater*
White Naped Honeyeater*
White Plumed Honeyeater*
Crescent Honeyeater
Nightjar
Speckled Warbler
Rufous Fantail
Diamond Firetail Finch
Spotted Turtle Dove
Shining Bronze Cuckoo
Brown Headed Honeyeater*
Grey Butcher Bird
Little Corella
Bar Shouldered Dove
Buff Banded Rail
Black Faced Monarch
Blue Faced Honeyeater
White Winged Chough*                                               



Whoever invented the phrase “birdbrain” knew not of which he spoke…I heard about some research on the intelligence of Crows done in America where the birds were presented with the problem of a meal worm in a test tube that was too deep to get. It took an average of 35 seconds for the birds to fashion a piece of wire into a tool to reach the grub.

In a variation on this experiment the birds were presented with a meal worm floating on water in a test tube but too far down for them too reach. The only thing in the cage was gravel. The birds picked up the gravel & put it into the test-tube until the water level rose high enough for them to reach the grub.
Wild Crows in Japanese cities have learned to use traffic to get into hard nuts. They drop a nut into the traffic near a pedestrian crossing & when the lights change they walk with the other pedestrians & pick up the nuts from the broken shells. Magpies recognise themselves in mirrors & can use the reflection to remove a sticker that they cannot otherwise see. Pigeons in London have learned to use the trains to travel from one station to the other (i.e. one food source to the other) with minimal time & effort.
On the other hand Doves are just dumb.

There are various categories of bird…there are the birds that eat your garden..Bowerbirds…There are the birds that dig up your garden & put it on the path, Chooks,
Choughs, Blackbirds.

There are the birds that eat your friends, Goshawks, Falcons, Currawongs, Magpies, Kookaburras; even the lovely & benign-looking Grey Thrush, (which has one of the most delightful songs in the bush), is an unrepentant egg & nestling thief…little birds mob it as soon as it enters the garden in an all-species militia…. Last year we had a male Superb Blue Wren with a damaged leg,…(probably from a joust with a rival or a mirror…they can get really heated). It was getting about just fine & we spent a couple of weeks giving him some extra lovin’…they adore finely grated hard cheese, & will eat millet from the Finch Mix. So things were looking good for him, even if he wasn’t going to be “Boss Cocky” anymore. But low & behold a Grey Butcher Bird turned up at morning tea with our wren hanging from it’s beak & proceeded to bash it on the handrail of the verandah, where we had our feet up & to rip out & scatter the fine blue feathers, hither & thither…It’s tricky to know how to feel… we were saddened to lose our wren…but then we hardly ever get to see a Grey Butcher Bird up close & observe him at his trade!

There are the honeyeaters that hover like tiny angels at the flowers sipping delicately at the nectar…there are honeyeaters that grab the flowers by the stems & drag them
to the ground & suck the life out of them.

There are, of course, many other categories of birds…in fact it wears me out to think about it…but some of our favourites include:

Peaceful Doves …not very peaceful (calling constantly) & not very bright…at times during the year they gather here in their dozens & dozens…you are constantly aware of their doodle-doodle-coo call. The courting season is one of their gathering times. You can watch a female “going shopping”…wandering down the gravel paths, seeing what’s available followed by a male…or sometimes a bevy of males, doodling & curtsying  a frenzy of pre-coital courtesy. In the time honoured strategy of females everywhere, this goes completely unnoticed. I’ve seen a male fall from a tree trying to convince his lady-love of his honourable intentions. Not born architects, they think that 2 crossed sticks in the fork of a low twiggy bush is plenty of infrastructure for a nest. They then lay their eggs & have to keep their legs crossed until the nestlings mature to stop them falling to the ground in the slightest breeze. How come they have thrived for millennia…obviously “smarts” isn’t intrinsic to their survival.

Bronzewings…for years we didn’t have any. We would see gatherings of them on dusty clearings at the top of the hill…& then eventually an occasional visitor would drop in & then when they learned that the food was laid on here they moved in. We now have a score or more permanent guests. Just when they learned to play the didgeridoo I”m not sure, but that’s what they sound like. Almost wiped-out by Early Settlers because they apparently made a tasty substitute for spatchcock or pheasant, their defence of sitting still until the last minute when approached may have  worked in pre-Cook days but was a poor strategy when faced with the gun. Aboriginal people would send out children with toy boomerangs & stones to hunt them, but of course this did not make a huge impact on numbers.

Mind you they might look sweet & defenceless but come feeding-time they are quite capable of standing up for themselves. Whilst basically shy & retiring & not heavily-
armed with beak or claws they will nonetheless brook not opposition. Outnumbered by Choughs, with their long sharp beaks & flashing red eyes, or Galahs with their hooked bill & ultra-sonic screech the Bronies employ the secret weapon…the Whack-Attack. Firstly, as a warning, they raise their wing above their bodies, puff themselves up & start a sub-sonic booming noise…if this is insufficient,  they will rush sideways at their opponents hitting out with their muscly wing. This quite often does the trick…if not, the Bronzewing is surely one of the most stubborn of birds & while it might not get to feed, no-one else will either.

BOWER BIRD FEEDING IN SPRING:

Male Bowerbird

Thank God it’s rained. Not enough for the season, but enough for this week…. & yet still I’m depressed…Yes, it’s official. The Vegetable Garden has been re-designated the Bower Bird Feeding Zone.

Already this season they have cleaned up all the mixed lettuce, (no colour preferences) & all the other winter greens…except they don’t like Rocket & they don’t like Mizuna…. Hah…take that!

Last year we planted only cherry tomatoes (Black Cherry & Lemon Drop from Diggers). The cherry tomatoes tend to fruit early meaning we can usually get some before the Bowsies get back from their summer holiday in the mountains. But last year, with the better than average rain, many decided to stay on & apparently the tastiness of these two specialist varieties made worthwhile the effort required to fossick around & find these paltry little fruits. Or so I guess, since we got none.

My other plan last year was hot chillies!….Well, hot chillies, red hot chillies & WMDs. These I thought would be left for us. We chose varieties for yield, heat & colour. Our favourite was a little black number with handsome purple/brown leaves. & it is true that we did get some fruit to experiment with early in the season, but the crop hadn’t fully ripened (short season here) by the time the Bowsies got back from hols & started to get experimental themselves. It was just 1 or 2 at first & I vacillated between “Hah! Take that!” & “OMG. What could I have been thinking?!” But in no time they decided they had a liking for chillies & once they did they kept the leaves eaten back so that they could keep an eagle-eye on the ripening fruit (nothing too green, please). I have since found out that birds have very few taste receptors….but I do wonder about their bums!  Apparently it’s all about aroma…that explains why My Fat Hens refuse chook pellets!   

Female/Juvenile

Some “Good Organic Gardeners” of our acquaintance set rat traps baited with crystallised cherries to get rid of  Bower Birds…(apparently the trick is to tie down the trap so that the bird doesn’t fly off with it…it gets expensive replacing those traps all the time. I’m sure their tomatoes taste better than the ones we get from the IGA & ripen on the sunny window above the sink; but to my mind there would always be the taint of dead (& mutilated) Bower Birds in theirs.

So until I can afford a bird cage in the veg patch I guess we’ll just have to eat the things that Bowsies don’t like…Beans & peas (you have to protect the seedlings with chicken-wire cloches)..silver beet, beet root, cucumber, zucchini, basil, parsley.                                                                                           

SPRINTER:

For many years I have suspected that Spring started a little earlier than the 1st of September. Now it’s official. Professor Tim Entwisle, planticular honcho of the Melbourne Botanical Gardens has announced that we have 5 seasons & this more or less coincides with my intuition & observation…Except that his Sprinter…(early Spring,)… starts at the beginning of August….and for me…here…it starts around the 15th. Mind you, August this year was not so Sprinterish as usual. Very cold cold…lots of frosts…& dry!

Yes a very difficult month, August… with virtually no food left out there for the wild birds they gathered from near & far for the handouts. So whilst the business had virtually no “in-comings”…”out-goings on bird food was $350 for grain & nearly $30 for scrap meat for the girls (chooks)! Still it should ease off now…plenty of grass for the chooks…as long as we get some rain….& if we haven’t given the King Parrots some grain for an hour or so they gather in the Prunus trees & hoe into the flowers…One must have plenty of salad…one simply must!

So its certainly Sprinter now…Prunus are flowering…Almonds almost finished …Scads of bulbs are doing their thing & the UV cream has reappeared. The koalas are singing, like glottally-stressed wart-hogs & moving through the forest looking for victims to harass. In my sentimental days I had not an inkling that these cuddly creatures were such unrepentant sex-pests.

Despite the cold and dry the frogs are working themselves into a ferment in preparation for an annual full-moon event, usually in October, that we call “Frog-Sprog”. Sometimes we go out with a torch to observe…but it is definitely MA viewing. In the morning the herons gather up the casualties

Today I discovered a Scrub Wren nest in a bowl of Kalanchoe Quicksilver…At first I thought this would cause agonies of guilt about watering…but the brood had already left the nest & were following their parents around the garden squawking like demanding toddlers in a supermarket. These tireless little birds are not flashy & pretty like the Superb Blue Wrens but they are great characters & thrive here  with all the low shrubs & prickly bushes. Often they nest in my shed which gets me much chastised! Within a couple of weeks the babes will be able to contribute to their own feeding & Mum will be back in her nest in the Quicksilver sitting on eggs again. It is nothing for them to be able to raise 4 or 5 broods per year…more in a good year, which this year will not be.

Asarum maximum

Something new which, though obtuse & obscure…(& very nearly unobservable), is delighting me at the moment,  is the Panda Faced Ginger or Asarum maximum. It is a low-growing perennial for the shade…particularly deciduous shade. Nearly unobservable because the delightful, black & white flowers are practically hidden beneath the dark green marbled evergreen heart-shaped leaves!  We have grown ours In a bowl so that they don’t have to compete with the tree roots in our awful gravelly soil. This also allows us to place them to good advantage when in flower, rather than have to get down on all fours in order  to enjoy their discreet beauties.

Aloe hybrid

The Aloes are still with us….(I’ve never met an aloe I didn’t like!)…We have dead ordinary ones as well as drop dead gorgeous hybrid beauties that cost us an a liver & a kidney. Their seasons starts in Autumn running through Sprinter & beyond. At the moment the common Aloe arborescens varieties are making grand displays combining with Cotyledon macrantha & contrasting nicely with the limey Euphorbia rigida. They certainly give the honey-eating birds something to think about.

My favourite plants this month are violets & Euphorbias…we have quite a few varieties of each. On a warm afternoon the garden is more deliciously scented of violets than Grandma’s hanky drawer. Mind you by October I will be cursing both the violets & the Euphorbias & pulling them out all over the shop.
The Euphorbias, of course, will inevitably get their own back, because of the toxic sap…especially Euphorbia myrsinites, my favourite species; a lovely prostrate thing, most resembles some form of sea-life. Whenever I cut them back my eyes swell up & get red  & bloodshot. I look like I’ve been drinking too much Methylated Spirits!…so, of course, I get no sympathy at all!

About now we are starting to cut down the big grasses…which have been “fountains of hay” through the cold months. First we must check them carefully because even at this early date a finch nest could spill a dozen or so naked babies onto the path…& then, tortured by guilt, you have to run indoors & drink something sturdy….When you return the parents & aunts & uncles have inevitably gathered the scrum into the undergrowth. Success, after that, depends very much on the weather, of course. At any rate I then lay the chaff on the ground & run over it with the ride-on mower to make a useful mulch or addition for compost…We do have a very good muncher but it doesn’t like the big grasses…like Miscanthus…not one little bit.

“Now is the window of our discontent”….The theory would be that now is the time to get all the plantings done that we have had planned for however long….The frosts have finished…(more or less) so it is important to get all the planting done before it dries out…Oh! Hang on…it already has!…got to go…things to do!


See: Sprinter & Sprummer” by Professor Tim Entwisle…or check him out on Google or Radio National.